The Family Mediation Guide

Separation and divorce are among the hardest things a family goes through. Family mediation offers a calmer, quicker and far less expensive way to resolve the practical questions that come with them, about children, property and finances, without the stress of a court battle. This complete guide explains everything you need to know about family mediation in England and Wales: what it is, how it works, what it costs, and how the rules changed in April 2024. Wherever you are in your journey, you will find a clear answer here, with links to more detailed guidance on each topic.

If you would prefer to talk to someone now, call 0333 567 1676, email mediators@wemediate.co.uk, or send a confidential message.

What This Guide Covers

• What is family mediation?
• Why choose mediation over court?
• The MIAM: where mediation begins
• How the mediation process works
• Mediation for children and parenting
• Mediation for finances and property
• The April 2024 rule changes
• What family mediation costs, and the £500 voucher
• Online family mediation
• Making your agreement legally binding
• Mediation for families living abroad
• Is mediation right for everyone?
• Frequently asked questions

What Is Family Mediation?

Family mediation is a voluntary, confidential process in which a trained, impartial mediator helps separating or divorcing couples, and sometimes wider family members, reach agreements about the issues between them. Those issues usually fall into two broad areas: arrangements for children, and the division of property and finances.

The defining feature of mediation is that the mediator does not take sides and does not impose a decision. Unlike a judge, they have no power to rule on your case. Instead, their role is to help you both communicate constructively, understand your options, and reach your own agreement, one that works for your family because you shaped it yourselves. Mediation is also confidential and legally privileged, which means the discussions you have are generally kept private and cannot simply be repeated in court.

Anyone can consider mediation, whether you are married, in a civil partnership, cohabiting, or separating as co-parents who were never together. It is suitable for the great majority of families, though not all, as we explain below.

Why Choose Mediation Over Court?

The advantages of mediation over contested court proceedings are significant and well established:

• It is cheaper. Mediation typically costs a fraction of what contested court proceedings do, which can run into many thousands of pounds.
• It is quicker. Most cases are resolved in a few sessions over a few weeks, rather than the many months a court case can take.
• It is less stressful. Mediation is calmer and more cooperative than the adversarial court process.
• You keep control. You and your former partner make the decisions, rather than having them imposed by a judge who does not know your family.
• It protects relationships. This matters especially where children are involved and you will need to co-parent for years to come.
• It is private. Mediation is confidential, unlike the more formal court process.

The MIAM: Where Mediation Begins

Every mediation starts with a MIAM, a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. This is an individual, confidential meeting between you and an accredited mediator, usually lasting up to an hour. The other party attends their own separate MIAM. In it, the mediator explains how mediation works, discusses the issues in your case, and assesses whether mediation is suitable for your situation.

The MIAM is more than just an introduction. In most cases, attending one is a legal requirement before you can apply to the family court about children or finances, unless a valid exemption applies. Importantly, attending a MIAM does not commit you to mediation, which is always voluntary, and if mediation is not suitable or you decide not to proceed, the mediator can issue the certificate you need to apply to court.

For a fuller explanation, see our dedicated page on what a MIAM is, or read about the limited situations in which you may not need one.

How the Mediation Process Works

The process follows four clear stages. First, you attend your MIAM. Second, if you decide to proceed, the mediator invites the other party to their own MIAM. Third, you both take part in joint sessions, usually lasting around an hour and a half each, where you work through the issues with the mediator’s help. Fourth, once you reach agreement, the mediator records it in writing, and it can be made legally binding if you wish.

Most families complete mediation in a small number of sessions, typically spaced a couple of weeks apart. If you would like to understand each stage in detail, our guide to the family mediation process walks through the whole journey.

Mediation for Children and Parenting

When parents separate, the most important and often most difficult questions are about the children: where they will live, how time is shared, schooling, holidays, and how you will make decisions together in future. Mediation gives you a calm, structured space to build a parenting plan that puts your children first. Because the arrangements are ones you have shaped yourselves, they tend to work better and last longer than those imposed by a court.

Where it is appropriate and in their best interests, children can also be given a voice through child-inclusive mediation, in which a specially trained mediator speaks with them directly, in a safe and age-appropriate way, so their feelings can inform the arrangements. The children do not carry the burden of deciding, but they feel heard. Research consistently shows that it is ongoing conflict between parents, rather than the separation itself, that most harms children, which is why a calm, agreed arrangement matters so much. For further information, please read out guide for parents on child arrangements in family mediation.

Mediation for Finances and Property

Separation usually means untangling shared finances: the family home, savings, pensions, debts, income, and sometimes business interests. Mediation helps you work through all of this openly, on the basis of full and honest financial disclosure, and reach a settlement you both understand and accept.

Financial mediation can cover the family home (whether to sell, or for one person to stay), the fair division of savings and investments, and pensions, which are often the largest asset a couple owns and are frequently overlooked. For more complex finances, mediation works well alongside independent legal and financial advice, which we always encourage. Because you reach the agreement together, it is usually far quicker and cheaper than fighting it out through solicitors or in court. For more information you can read our guide on financial agreements in family mediation.

The April 2024 Rule Changes

On 29 April 2024, the Family Procedure Rules in England and Wales were significantly strengthened to encourage families to resolve disputes away from court. This is one of the most important developments in family law in recent years, and it affects anyone considering a court application. The key changes are:

• Wider options must be explained. Mediators must now discuss all forms of non-court dispute resolution (NCDR), including mediation, arbitration, collaborative law and neutral evaluation.
• Fewer exemptions, and evidence required. The grounds for avoiding a MIAM have been reduced, and claiming an exemption generally now requires evidence.
• A new court form, the FM5. Parties must set out their position on non-court dispute resolution, usually at least seven days before the first hearing.
• Stronger powers for the court. Judges can pause proceedings to allow mediation to be explored, even without both parties’ agreement.
• Costs consequences. A party who unreasonably refuses to attend a MIAM or engage in NCDR may be ordered to pay costs.

In short, the courts now expect a genuine effort to resolve matters out of court before you litigate.

What Family Mediation Costs, and the £500 Voucher

Our fees are clear and fixed. A MIAM is £130 on weekdays and £150 on Saturday mornings. Mediation sessions are £130 per person, per hour, and as sessions usually run for one and a half hours, a typical session is £195 per person. There are no hidden charges, and we accept credit and debit card payments.

Crucially, financial help is available. If your case involves arrangements for children, you may be eligible for the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, a government contribution of up to £500 towards your mediation sessions. It is not means-tested, and it has been extended to March 2027. We check your eligibility at your MIAM and handle the application for you, so there is nothing to claim yourself. For full details, see our fees page.

Online Family Mediation

All of our MIAMs and mediation sessions are conducted online, by video. This has become the preferred approach for many families, and for good reason. There is no travel, no parking, and no time off work beyond the session itself. Many people also feel more comfortable, and speak more openly, from their own home, particularly where being in the same room as a former partner would be difficult. Where needed, virtual waiting rooms and breakout rooms allow the mediator to keep parties apart while still working with each of you.

Online mediation also removes distance as a barrier, so we can help where one person has moved away, elsewhere in the country or abroad. Read more about online family mediation.

Making Your Agreement Legally Binding

An agreement reached in mediation is not, by itself, legally binding. For many families, particularly those focused on parenting arrangements, a clear written agreement that both people respect is enough. But where finances are involved, it is usually wise to make the agreement legally binding.

This is done through a consent order, a document approved by a family court judge that makes your financial agreement enforceable and, importantly, prevents future claims between you. Getting divorced does not, by itself, end your financial ties, so a consent order is what gives both people real certainty and protection. Once you reach agreement in mediation, the mediator records it, and a solicitor can convert it into a consent order for the court to approve.

Mediation for Families Living Abroad

Because our mediation is entirely online, we regularly help international families, where one parent lives abroad and the other, often with the children, remains in England or Wales. Mediation is well suited to resolving the particular challenges these families face, arrangements across time zones, international travel and holidays, and staying involved from a distance. If this applies to you, see our page on family mediation for parents living abroad.

Is Mediation Right for Everyone?

Mediation is suitable for most families, but not all. It may not be appropriate where there has been domestic abuse, or where there is a significant imbalance of power that would prevent one person from taking part freely and safely. These are among the recognised exemptions from the requirement to attend a MIAM. The mediator carries out a careful, confidential assessment at the MIAM to check that mediation would be safe and suitable, and if it is not, they will say so and explain your alternatives. If you have any concerns about safety, including your children’s, you should raise them, and if you are experiencing domestic abuse, your safety comes first and you should contact the relevant support services.

Taking the First Step

Facing a family dispute is daunting, but choosing mediation is a positive, constructive step towards resolving it. Whether you want to mediate or simply need a MIAM certificate to proceed, our accredited mediators are here to help, with no obligation. The first step is always a MIAM.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is family mediation compulsory?

No. Mediation itself is always voluntary. However, in most cases you must attend a MIAM to consider mediation before you can apply to court about children or finances, unless a valid exemption applies.

Is family mediation legally binding?

Mediation itself is not legally binding. If you reach a financial agreement, it can be made binding through a consent order approved by the court. Parenting arrangements are often kept as a written agreement rather than a court order.

How much does family mediation cost?

A MIAM is £130 on weekdays and £150 on Saturday mornings. Mediation sessions are £130 per person, per hour, with a typical one-and-a-half-hour session costing £195 per person. A £500 government voucher is available for eligible cases involving children.

How long does family mediation take?

Most cases are resolved in a small number of sessions over a few weeks, far quicker than contested court proceedings, which can take many months.

Can mediation cover both children and finances?

Yes. Mediation can address arrangements for children, financial and property matters, or all of these together.

What happens if we cannot agree?

If mediation does not resolve everything, you can consider other forms of non-court dispute resolution or, if necessary, apply to court. Because mediation is confidential, what was discussed is not disclosed to the court.

Can family mediation be done online?

Yes. We conduct all MIAMs and mediation sessions online, so there is no need to travel or take significant time off work.

This guide is general information about family mediation in England and Wales and is not legal advice. For advice on your own circumstances, consult a family solicitor.