When parents separate, it is often decisions about the children that feel most urgent and emotionally charged. Questions around where the children will live, how time will be shared, and how future decisions will be made can quickly become a source of tension and anxiety. Many parents worry about making the “wrong” move or being pushed into a process they do not fully understand.
This is where a MIAM – a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting – plays an important role. For most people, it is the starting point for resolving child arrangements following separation and, in many cases, a mandatory step before the family court will consider an application.
What is a MIAM and why does it matter?
A MIAM is a private meeting with a qualified family mediator. It is not a joint meeting with your former partner, and it is not mediation itself. Instead, it is an opportunity for you to receive clear, impartial information about your options and to discuss your individual circumstances in confidence.
The purpose of the MIAM is twofold. First, it ensures that you understand what family mediation involves and whether it could help resolve issues around child arrangements without going to court. Secondly, it allows the mediator to assess whether mediation is suitable and appropriate for your situation.
The family court expects parents to attend a MIAM before applying for a Child Arrangements Order, unless a recognised exemption applies. This requirement exists because, for many families, mediation offers a less stressful, quicker, and more child-focused way forward than court proceedings.
What happens during a MIAM?
During your MIAM with We Mediate, the family mediator will take time to listen to your concerns. You can explain what has been happening, what is worrying you most, and what you hope might change.
The mediator will then explain:
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How family mediation works in practice
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What joint mediation sessions involve
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How child arrangements are typically explored
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What alternatives exist if mediation is not suitable
You will also have the opportunity to ask questions openly. Many parents arrive feeling uncertain or defensive and leave feeling calmer and more informed. Importantly, attending a MIAM does not commit you to mediation. The decision about whether to proceed always remains yours.
A common concern: “Will I be forced into mediation?”
This is one of the most frequent worries parents raise. The short answer is no. Mediation is voluntary. A MIAM is about information and assessment, not pressure or persuasion.
If mediation is not appropriate, or if you decide not to proceed, the mediator can explain the next steps and, where necessary, provide the relevant MIAM certificate for court purposes. Even in those circumstances, attending a MIAM ensures that you are informed and compliant with court expectations.
Keeping the focus on children
From a mediator’s perspective, one of the greatest strengths of the MIAM process is that it helps shift the focus back to children’s needs. Separation can easily become adversarial, especially when communication has broken down. A MIAM offers space to pause, reflect, and consider how decisions made now may affect your children in the longer term.
Many parents find reassurance in knowing that family mediation is child-focused but not child-exclusive. It supports parents in making arrangements that promote stability, routine, and meaningful relationships with both parents where appropriate.
What if the other parent is reluctant?
Another common question is what happens if the other parent does not want to engage. A MIAM still has value, even in those circumstances. It allows you to understand your position, explore your options, and demonstrate to the court that you have taken reasonable steps to consider mediation.
Often, one parent attending a MIAM first leads to the other parent feeling more comfortable about engaging once the process has been clearly explained.
What To Do Now
If you’re considering divorce or separation, family mediation offers a constructive, cost-effective way to resolve disputes without the stress and expense of going to court. By working with a professionally trained mediator, you can reach practical agreements that reflect the needs and interests of everyone involved — especially children.
At We Mediate, we provide a comprehensive range of services to support you through every stage of your separation. Our experienced and accredited mediators help you navigate complex issues such as financial arrangements, child contact schedules, co-parenting strategies, and communication challenges, all in a safe and confidential setting.
We believe every family deserves a fair, respectful, and accessible path through separation. Our focus is on creating balanced outcomes that prioritise the wellbeing of all parties, and our commitment to affordability means we can support families across England and Wales, no matter their circumstances.
Before starting mediation, you will need to attend a MIAM — a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. This is a confidential one-to-one session with an accredited family mediator, where you’ll learn more about how mediation works and whether it’s suitable for your situation. We can usually arrange MIAMs quickly, often within 24–48 hours, with daytime and evening appointments available. Book your MIAM today to take the first step towards resolving matters in a more cooperative and less adversarial way.
If you’re ready to explore a more amicable approach to divorce or separation, we invite you to browse our website or contact us directly. Whether you’re just beginning to consider your options or are already in the midst of proceedings, our team is here to guide and support you at every stage. Schedule your consultation today and discover how mediation can help you move forward with clarity and confidence.
You can call us on 0333 567 1676 or click here to send us a confidential email.
